The Oedipus Complex- Chapter 6Chapter 6
Once upon a time, a man from Space sat down and wrote a song about Wendy Testaburger. The song was titled "Female of the Species" and the writer despaired over his infatuation with the femme fatale.
What, you may ask, was a man from Space doing writing a song about Wendy, especially if he had never met her in the first place?
For asking such a stupid question, Pip would have been happy to inform you that Space was an Indie or alternative rock band from the Brit music revolution of the 1990's and he would have spent a few moments chuckling at your expense. And he would be quite right to laugh. Everyone knows that aliens are incapable of writing songs and astronauts are simply too stupid to compose music.
But the song was for Wendy as she was by far the most intimidating female to wander the halls of Middle Park High. If you met her in the hallway you would have assumed that she was just some other chick. If you knew that she had been Stanley Marsh's girlfriend you would be inc
Miracle on Stan's Street"The first year after they learn you-know-what is always the hardest," Sharon was explaining to Liane as they stood in the line to see Santa, idly smoothing back her son's hair.
"It's always a rough Christmas after they learn the truth about S-A-N-T-A," Sharon was not even looking at Stan, who was mouthing along bitterly to his mother's little speech, drawing sniggers from Eric Cartman.
"Oh yes, but I'm not going to let it ruin my little Eric's fun," Liane smiled warmly and brushed imaginary dust from her dearest darling's shoulder. Eric grumbled in response and tugged his shoulder away, rolling his eyes.
"Have you got all your presents in yet?" Stan tried to drown out the adults' conversation, thinking it was rather foolish of them if they had not bought in all their presents. It was Christmas Eve and to Stan's mind only bloody fools left their Christmas shopping to the last minute. He'd seen the queues, seen the empty shelves and all those abandoned and bashed toys that would probabl
The Oedipus Complex- Chapter 5"Dude, this is pretty fucked up right here," Stan was flicking through his book, disbelief written on his face, "they honestly can't teach this sort of thing in school."
Kyle was skimming over his own book, resting his head on one hand, his glasses slightly crooked.
"I'm telling you Stan, Hamlet's fucked up because he doesn't like to think of his Mom as a sexual being."
"Yeah huh. Act One, Scene Two. He has an entire monologue where he totally freaks out over his Mom getting married to his uncle. In those days marrying one of your in-laws was considered incest."
"It's wrong dude, just wrong," Stan's face had went an unsightly shade of green.
"I don't get you sometimes Stan," Kyle looked at his friend out of the corner of his eye, "Roller coasters, waltzers, too much pizza and you don't throw up. When something sexual or feminine comes along you chuck up all over the place."
"I don't think I like this play," Stan threw his book away, placing one hand on his stomach.
Mercenary GamesHe stubbed out his cigarette with his steel toed boot and regarded the house with bitter contempt.
Curling his lip and swinging his shovel from its position against his shoulder he dug deliberately and ruthlessly down into the immaculate garden, ruining the manicured lawn and disturbing the plant pots.
For several minutes he dug straight down into the earth, and he quickly disappeared under the ground. For any other human being it might have taken at least an hour to vanish from sight but he worked quickly and effortlessly, a blur of shovel and mud.
A blur he might have been, but he was still seen by a certain member of the household, a small smirk twitching the corner of his lips as he gazed down at his best friend and comrade ruining his garden.
Gregory pressed his fingertips against the cold glass and drank greedily the sight, feeling strangely exhilarated that the Mole would be so wonderfully furious at him. He could already hear Christophe's nasally voice bitching at him about his
The Oedipus Complex- Chapter 3Chapter Three
"Mother, exactly how many times do I have to explain this to you," Eric Cartman stood beside the computer fuming.
"Oh poopsiekins, you know I don't know how to use this….thing," Liane waved her hand vaguely at the computer monitor.
The screen was completely blank. Cartman had set his mother the relatively easy task of switching on a computer before he had disappeared up to the bathroom to pee. When he had come back down the stairs the computer still remained off and Liane was far more engrossed at reading a magazine, one of the pages headlined "Sex Tips for Hermaphrodites."
Glaring at her, Cartman pushed a small button on the monitor and then another on the computer tower. He made his actions large and overly dramatic to teach his frustrating mother how to use a bloody computer.
"You press nyah and then you press nyah!" Cartman indicated each button while the computer hummed into life. Liane just blinked and turned back to her magazine.
Furious, Eric ripped the magazine f