October 9th, 2007-2012

Five years ago I met a man who saved my life.

Just because he never actually existed, and was only ever in my head, doesn't mean he didn't matter. I was depressed. I wanted to die. I couldn't look at photographs of myself or look myself properly in the mirror. I had to hide what I was feeling because my pain hurt others.

When he came into my life, he was a man without a reflection, a man who could not be photographed. Without this self-recognition he could not see the sins upon his face. He was entire unto himself; he knew who he was without the need to see who he was.

Dmitri appeared on the 9th of October 2007 around 8:30pm while I was out buying chocolate. My family went on holiday without me, but rather than do coursework I did anything possible that avoided being alone with me.

Dmitri walked into my brain, and died. I was so shocked I replayed it, again and again. An entrance and an exit. He was there and then he was dust. It was unfair that he should disappear without revealing his mystery.

Because I kept thinking about him, and what his story could be, I started focusing on him rather than what I was feeling. I created his fictional family, I thought up a plotline that covers 5 novels, over 100 years and an entire continent. That particular series is on the back burner for now, but if I hadn't focused on writing then I might not be here today.

Now? Now I'm losing weight, I've gained a masters, I've got a new job and I have a much more positive outlook on my life and where it is going. The Julia book is two thirds of the way done so I'm on my way to being a proper writer. All because of the man up above.

Happy 5th anniversary to me and Dmitri Vasile. Looking back… I still can't believe I'm here.

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